How to Enhance Self-Esteem in our Children

In a world of participation trophies and empty praise, how do we really help improve self-esteem in our children and adolescents? Some of our current efforts to enhance self-esteem may actually be hurting our kids rather than helping them, as there’s a concern that a lot of today’s college students have been raised in an environment where they received a lot of empty praise. This might result in a person with inflated self-esteem and a reduced ability to handle criticism and failure.

What does empty praise mean? This is when a person is given praise for performance that may be mediocre, if not poor. One problem with this kind of praise is that it may not help a child figure out what they are really good at and truly interested in, which is a part of developing self-esteem.

What do we need to do instead? Here are several tips to help improve self-esteem in children and adolescents:

1.Help identify areas that they perform well in and that are important to them: Thus, high self-esteem comes from performing well in areas that are meaningful. For example, for myself, it was important for me to do well in academics, and it was something that I am good at. So, I do have high self-esteem in this area.

2.Emotional support and approval: Children and adolescents need support and approval in order for their self-esteem to be enhanced. There are some who come from homes where it is unavailable, so it can from other mentors such as teachers and/or coaches.

3.Teach skills: Self-esteem can also be enhanced through teaching skills, so this in turn can foster a sense of achievement.

4.Face problems, rather than withdraw: Children and adolescents should be taught to face problems head on and to learn how to solve them, rather than run from them. Again, this should help foster a sense of achievement and self-worth.

Thus, while we always want the best for our kids and to protect them, we also need to help them conquer failure and competition. They should know how to handle that well, because this is an aspect of life. At the same time, they also need our support and guidance, but it should be in a productive way that ultimately helps enhance their resilience.